It's Not Over

When my heart wanted to cave in You breathed it to life. And when I said forever I’ll walk alone, You’ve lead me to a place Where even when I feel Hurt, abused You sing me alive. With your song of life I have a reason to press-- No longer distressed, I give my all to you. I hear the ghosts of my past Trying to tell me I’ll finish last, but You tell me This new day Has just begun. Even in my doubt, My thoughts run while You stand still. While the wind blows, I realize even then, Your song of life Will calm the waves-- Allow me to see The beauty of falling leaves, The simmering dusk… While the night Has owls, endless calm stars drawn by your hands.

A Thousand Years

The embers of another day gone by Without you Makes me wonder About scripture, Where a day with God Is as a thousand years In my fears, I wonder How He loves The church, the fragile and lonely. Those days you don’t feel You’re enough. Bare trees With seeds buried, their branches Wait for spring to bare… Out buds that give birth to songs And lyrics of dew When the truth Still reigns in November Where Frost told the story Of the youth on the road Less taken, where Ruth Gleans the open Fields of corn, stitches hidden In the husks, wanting to hold And reach beyond.

I feel like a phony
take advantage of your grace
don't deserve to be called
your son, I gave up on me
but you said you'd never leave

you stay by my side, when I
should let you drive and let go

How do you love when
I sin and disgrace your name
How do you give
when I give your love away
How do you know
when I feel such shame

stay by my side, please, I
should let you drive and let go

You've given so much more
than I know
you lead and guide me
please use the pain to help me grow

use the pain to make me
more like you

use the pain to mold me
use the pain to make me
stand still and trust you more

Bleeding

I watch you walk around town
And mumble chants to yourself
While I listen to the mesh
The mental notes squawking with
The birds while I contemplate
Self doubt and your doubts
As we walk by the wallpaper
Of this foreign town growing
On our skin, the wind breathing
Inside the idea of the new normal.

We walk the intersection
Of fall leaves and
sweat drops falling as tears,
People trying to survive
The 9-5s and 24-hour shifts
Of loneliness and meandering
The graveyard shifts
Whether if it’s lies, hurts, pains
Onto red-eye flights of memories
The things that follow us
Into dreams of ghastly
Asking the night air what’s next,
Tasking the soul in how to break free

When strongholds fall
In mumbled prayers
Of half opened mouths
Flossing pillows between cheekbones
And when angels sing
Through rain’s chorus of blood drops
From the practical, needing and hurt
When I walk outside and clouds
Seem to part and stretch the sun,
Emotional stitches healing after surgery
of the fall
And the birth of something new

Prodding Me

to leave this dying flesh
to reach for the light
stepping out in faith
when I don't want to
leave the driveway. Lined with
my past. Simply, take me
to where it's just me and you.

How can I take my body
and bring it back to life?
that somehow breathes inconsistency
yet speaks prayers
that don't seem heard.
when everyone is asleep.

in the still night chill,
the ground a hard corpse
grass frost-laden,
my feet on
the wooden floor, pacing

pray and trust.
The grass that grows
began with a seed,
I am more than the stars
that swim free,
let go and believe.

work in progress

Oh wretched man, Paul said
when he debated law and grace
how he could want more but be
in a stale place. Between a woman
and a man, what is this

that tried to divide
Christ and His bride.
And I think on how
could it be
that I see her standing there

yet can't speak...
Oh, wretched man, it's time
to take a stand.
Through blood and tears
and break through

fear and insecurity
to lose then win
to break death and the power of sin.
Bleeding heart, I hear you cry
Oh wretched man, break free and be

go ahead and bleed--
at least you can feel--
Fight, Oh wretched man,
take a stand.

Sleep

While you lay,
The world is
Passing by
a sleeping playground.
Inside a cocoon
Children’s eyes open
Underneath blue light.
The air glazed in silence,
laced by your dreams.