War

As I remember my dad’s voice, he says
to have friends, you must
first be a friend. To care about someone, you must

first care for yourself. To love someone, you must
give. You must sacrifice yourself
so that you may receive life.

Riding in the car, my dad
insists that I take care
of myself. I wonder.
Take care of myself, in the process love

those around me, from afar if I had to leave them.
I ask myself, what would happen if I weren’t here.
Outside, the leaves crawl
and fall slowly, being taken by the wind.

They don’t fight it, they question
as they are blown this way and that,
but once the wind stops
they land softly. The wind will
pick up again. And again, the leaves will question

their destiny. Rattling the ground, sweeping the grass
as if to ask must they go. But, even if
it was only to the edge of the browning lawn, preparing
for spring, even if the wind took them where they didn’t


want to go. As the wind picked them
up, I saw them land softly on the lawn, the gateway
to the air that embraced them
to the sky.

**
The air of winter tears
at my eyes, causes them to blur
with the image of faint Christmas lights.
Ghosts creep out of chimneys as

I realize I’m close to home. I hear
rain, tears in the garden
of Gethsemane falling on the streets.
I walk with a burden, wrestle

within myself. The red lights blur, make me think
of when Jesus prayed so hard
that His sweat dripped as blood.
Three times
He asked if the cup must stay

with Him, if He had to die
after being betrayed, must He die
so that He and so many others may live.
And of course, He must

have asked, maybe even questioned
to an extent, if it had to be done.
An angel descended
to comfort Him and even then He prayed


more earnestly. In finality,
He knew it was God’s will
and with all of us in mind

the answer was He must.

I watch a leaf fall
and rest in my hands.
And I think of how leaves are born
in the sky, then fall and die

only to rise again in the spring.

Inside the house,
my father’s words spin in my mind and
Ask myself again; what would happen
if I wasn’t here. And then
I hear him
Ask the same question.